You know I haven’t slept in weeks, you’re the only thing I see.
-Satellite Heart, Anya Marina.
Spend time with my bff.
Read before going to sleep.
Listen to my music.
Talk to my grandma.
Find out another follower in the middle of the day.
Get excited of being noticed by my crush.
Watching movies with my friends/family.
Go to shopping.
Post in my blog.
Add more if you have some, I surely will!!
He was about to run away from me. I knew that would happen.
“I need to talk to you!”, I wanted to cry, but I had to stay strong for him.
“Leave me alone. I’m sorry but I have to be alone now”, he said through unmoving lips.
“I know everything, Matt. Please don’t leave”, what I said caught his attention. “I know that they have just told you what you are. I’m like you. I’ve been waiting for three years to tell you that we’re different from the others.”
The others. I didn’t think about it. A tall blonde girl was suddenly next to him. Amy.
“Come on, Matt. We need to get out of here”, she said. We?
He followed her, a little confused, to the exit of the special room. And I was right behind them.
“Please, Matt. Don’t you see it’s wrong?” I bagged.
“Is this wrong? Would you please explain to me how this is wrong, and when your life changes by night, that’s fine?”, His voice broke twice when he spoke.
“I know it’s hard. But I have all the answers! Please, just listen to me.”
“Not here. And not with her.”
Amy looked at him, probably waiting for him to resist, but she didn’t know him well as I do. He just said, “I’m sorry, Amy.” Then she left, irritable.
“Now it’s just the two of us”, He said. I don’t know why, but I missed his voice.
“Do you remember the time when I was so depressed that I didn’t want to see anyone?”, I asked.
“Even not me.”, he looked right to my brown eyes when he said that.
“That was the time when my parents told me I can control what happens in other’s lives. I mean, only with my thoughts. This was the explanation to all what screwed up around me. With one reckless thought, I could ruin someone’s day. Or in the really bad case, someone’s life. At the beginning I thought, ‘what is wrong with me?’. I wanted to run away, to someplace where I can’t hurt anyone, just like you now. But I’ve learned to control my thoughts, and I’ve accepted what I am. And so you will.”
He waited a minute before he spoke. “I’m sorry, Allie. I can’t be who you are. And if I won’t leave now, it will be too late and I might hurt you, too”, I heard the anger and frustration in his voice. “You just don’t understand! Now let me go. I’m late to my flight.”
It hurt me. “If I don’t understand, who will, Matt?”
He was so close to me, and I saw the torture on his face.
In one second all the anger that was in me, changed with pain. I realized that I don’t care about the mission. If I won’t do something fast, he will leave. Forever.
“Stay…”, I whispered.
“Give me one good reason.”
“You will be ok in the end… Look at me.”
“Not good enough”. He looked at me for the last time and my heart almost got out of my chest. He started walking.
That’s it. My life without Matt. My last hope, to have someone like me… Is that what I really wanted? Would it be matter if he was normal? Something inside me answered that question.
“Because I love you!”, I shouted to him. Everyone stared at me, and I noticed that my eyes are totally wet.
“Stay… because I love you.”
It doesn’t really change anything. I said it, and I didn’t even know that this is what I feel, by now. But it doesn’t really change anything. So I let myself cry, close my eyes and disconnect from reality.
Somewhere between my tears and sobs, I heard steps moving towards me. I opened my eyes, and there he was. So close to me, one second before our lips met.
He kissed me, and I kissed him back. Using every moment that he is still here.
Then he quietly whispered to my ear, “By the way, that’s a very good reason.”
‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be, thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet, and you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
-The Man Who Can’t Be Moved, The Script.
The ride seemed like it would last forever. Through it all I looked out of the window and a million thoughts was eating me from the inside.
What if it’s too late? What if he’s already gone? And if he isn’t, who says that he will listen to me?
I calculated the time that was left until the others will get on their ways. Not a lot of time, but enough to fulfill the aim which is why I’m here.
I also thought about Shanna. I probably should be feeling guilty, because I lied to her, but I don’t really care right now. I can only think about one thing. And it’s not Shanna. Maybe after today I will realize what I just did.
I barely noticed when we got to the airport. I opened the door and jumped outside.
“Hey! Come back here!”, my driver shouted.
I was in such a rush that I forgot paying him. I took the money from my pocket and gave it to him, embarrassed.
Then I kept running to the entrance. It’s very helpful that I’m pretty small, because I could get through the hundreds of people easily. Maybe I crashed at some. But I didn’t care.
I just need to find him, I kept saying to myself.
Tanned skin, black hair, muscular arms, and the last time I saw him – amazing that it was just this morning – he wore a white shirt with a heart made of roses. My favorite.
For a long time that felt like days I was looking for him, asking people if they saw him.
I was almost at my breaking point. I’ve been looking for how long? An hour? And nothing. A terrifying feeling crept slowly to my heart. What if he’s on a plane now, and I ruined it all?
Then I had an idea. If he’s not here, he’s probably at the special room; it was only for important passengers. Two years ago, when we were here together for better reasons, he taught me how to get in there. But I’m only by myself now. I was walking to the entrance of the special room, pretending that I belong there. All I need is a name. A name that can get inside.
The guy who had the list was big. Very big, so violence would not work here. I fixed my hair, opened one button in my shirt and took two empty bags and a brochure from the desk.
“Excuse me”, I said politely. “Where can I find the ladies toilet?”
“Right over there, young lady.” When he pointed at the place, he tended a bit, and I could see the name Isabel. Not enough. I need the first name, too.
“Oh thank you, sir. Would you please help me with taking out my wallet from my back pocket? My hands are holding all this stuff”, I pointed at my empty bags.
“I don’t think it’s…”, he began protesting.
“Come on… Please?”, I said to him in my most tempting voice and looked right to his blue eyes.
He smiled and did what I asked him to, but not before he placed the list of names beside him. Ray. Isabel Ray.
“Thank you so much!”, I said and took my wallet.
I went to the toilet, so my question will at least be reasonable, and also to throw my bags. Then I returned to the entrance of the special room, and said with confidence, “Isabel Ray”. I’m in. And once I’m in they can’t make me go outside.
I was proud of myself but I had to focus. I continued looking for him. He’s got to be here…
My heart stopped. I saw him. He was so… broken.
I have to reach close enough so he can hear me, but not so fast so he will also listen. I walked slowly, ignoring all the faces that stared at me. There was one person only who mattered now.
I called him with a trembling voice, “Matt”.